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So apparenty there was this girl who trained at our dojo before, and left briefly before I started, leaving a gap of women among all the lovely boys there to play. And it's funny in a way, she's gone but left such an impact. A tangible contribution. Like walking through a room and leaving just a trail of perfume?
The stories left of her courage and her heart are more than enough for me. But for the others... Shortly after I started, several others did too. Younger girls. Often I feel that there is a secret expectation that I'll be there for them and guide them because we share a gender and so maybe see with similar glasses. Even though technically, we're not that different. Just in age. For them, though, are the stories enough? Can they last and follow a trace of perfume in the air? Will others?
If I leave and this is true, what else will keep them? Who can speak into their world as moments of interaction at aikido class start sucking in every other part of their lives? Can they be strong, and alone? Or can't I leave?
I need to go though. Soon, perhaps in a year. There's not much I can do apart from place another in their world to offer guidance. But will she stay, and will she last? And can I still leave knowing that I'll leave all this?