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My empty teacup, the blog of my more or less newbie perspective through the world of Aikido. Rough translations included!
-Select entries from my personal Aikido blog: Karappo Chawan
I'd like to begin by saying that... I passed my test. I've now reached Shodan. *flexes muscles* Anywho, go me. XD Let me pause to do a jig... <( '.' )> (>'.' )> (>'.'<) <( '.'<) <( '.' )> Now, back to business as usual. Self-criticism... how is yours? I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to evaluating my own performance. After nearly every belt test, I look at my own performance and go "wow..that kinda sucked." Then I pass and go "hmm..I wonder if I would have passed me?"
I suppose I tend to be overly critical of myself, and I have to wonder if this is a good thing or not. On the one hand it makes me inspect myself tediously, never content to allow my technique to have even small flaws - always wanting to iron out those creases. And yet, on the other hand it makes me doubt myself. My performance never seems "quite good enough" to me, when apparently it is to others.
But then, there are some who think that their form is oh so much better than it actually is (which drives me nuts.) On the reserve, confidence in ones self is a wonderful thing; but unwarranted confidence can lead one to ignore flaws in their own performance. I wonder which is worse, or perhaps one has to find a middle path between them both?