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I have new found respect for break falling, a new sense of humility. Once upon a time, when I was still wet behind the ears, I did something incredibly stupid, now that I can look back on it. During my first round of Iriminage I truly lost my balance and hit the ground like a board. I pulled the muscles up my back and spent about six weeks being miserable and sore.
At class tonight I was breakfalling all over the place. I simply couldn't find my usual groove and relax as uke. We worked on a lot of unfamiliar techniques and even started Kaitenages, which were … different.
I tried, I really did. Tonight was one of my tired nights, I hope I didn't disappoint my partners. Focus kept on slipping. I "lost" about twenty fingers in the tanto-dori stuff we did. Note to self, don't try to catch the blade. Blade bad, blade very very bad.
On a duller note, Sensei announced that he will not be returning to teach in the fall semester. He received a job offer in another state and opted to take it. It was a somber class tonight. His teaching style is wonderful and he is perhaps the most patient person I have ever had the chance to work with. I hope that things go well for him and the future is bright and prosperous.
Denver is waiting for me, and so is the lurking beast known as "testing". By the time I will have been home a week or so, I'll have been practicing for five months, thus I'm being urged to apply for and test my fifth kyu.
Scared to fail, but even more so never to try.
Its so easy to run away, but harder to stay and brave the storm. They say confidence is everything, but when it comes to aikido I am meek and quiet. I can move and hold myself up like many people I've seen. I'm not even sure of my own personal progress.
I best get back to homework, packing and sleep at some point.