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Well, I suppose I am in a training "trough" as opposed to a "peak" this month.
It seems like my rolls are lumpy, I keep forgetting to tuck my chin on back fall, and I thump my knees when practicing shikko.
It all started in September, when the yudansha started leaning on me when I took too long to complete shionage. It's kind of humiliating to be used as a leaning post Perhaps I lost my center when I started to get frustrated about that, because everything just started to go south after that.
Part of me gets that this is the end of the beginning and the percursor to REALLY beginning. I have a lot of the vocabulary, I know how things "should" go, I can see and feel more about how things go. But I can't reliably pull things off on a consistant basis. Yet.
We just spent two classes this week on iikyo. Part of me feels like a kid with a broken toy. It isn't working. I know it's time to quit at the end of class, but I can't help wishing I could spend just 30 more min, but then knowing that it's more a matter of letting what we practiced in class "sink in" doing what I can at home to "walk thru" the technique, and then coming to the next class with a fresh body and a mind clear of frustrations/expectations.
On the upside, I'm acting as sempai for class a few times a month when Brian isn't there. Thursday we were projecting a throw from iikyo, almost a kitieinage throw. I swear, it's the first time I wish I had taken a breakfall -- Sensei converts 100% of my momentum plus his into ikkyo. *tski - WHUMP *
After writing this, and thinking about the last couple of weeks, I suppose I'd have to say that the biggest speedbump I'm hitting is my ego.